Plus Ones and Possibilities

Plus Ones And Possibilities
Being a single Christian in the 21st Century is stressful and a bit scary. Most of us choose to focus on our education and career and suddenly declare, “Wow! That took much longer than expected.” Miraculously, this declaration coincides with the exact time every loved one asks ad nauseam, “Why are you still single?”

Ironically, 21st Century church folks aren’t particularly great at matchmaking. The Old Testament folks did a much better job. Quick. Simple. Easy. Who doesn’t want that?

Since no one is getting snatched up, we’re constantly praying for God to send our Ruth or Boaz; and, most importantly, we’re constantly asking Him to fight off the fiery darts of fornication and lust (have mercy for summer draweth nigh). Our only option is pray our feelings away and accept this season as a gift. After all, Jesus and Paul were single and they turned out just fine. Ummm…ok. By this time, we may as well make a sign and yell, “unclean, unclean” because things are looking bleak and we’re pretty much praying for a miracle, especially the females. Ladies, you know the struggle for the struggle is extremely real.

However, it doesn’t have to be this stressful. Being single doesn’t have to be a season of torture equivalent to leprosy. With the right attitude, this journey can be a season of great introspection, adventure and growth. There are awesome benefits in taking time to be truly single and there is absolutely nothing wrong with God as our plus one. Here are 4 reasons why being single rocks.

  1. Being truly single fosters high self-esteem.

    Some of us are serial daters. We jump from one relationship to the next without really taking the time to get to know who we are or what we want. Hence, we keep making the same mistakes over and over, which wears us down. Taking the time to be truly single allows us to evaluate our standards and avoid settling; it allows us to build confidence and cultivate high self-esteem. When we enjoy our own company, we bounce back from disappointments much faster because we have taken the time to create a lifestyle with God at the center. This season gives us time to realize that we are enough before venturing into relationship territory. It affords us time to deal with our baggage and to make a mature assessment of where we are, who we are and what type of person we would like to be with.

  2. Being truly single helps us to execute our life’s journey.

    If we’re unable to find someone with the same vision, it’s quite fine to execute. However, we’re often reluctant. Waiting around for others to jump on board leaves us feeling unaccomplished, since everything is dependent on whether someone accompanies us on our journey. This results in a life filled with regret and procrastination. There is a fearlessness that comes with being truly single because it is in this season that we should learn the importance of aligning our will with that of God’s. This puts God in control. When we are truly single, we begin to feel the urgency in executing our God ordained purpose and we are more likely to launch.

  3. Being truly single facilitates better decision making.

    We second guess ourselves because there are too many voices in our head and too many people offering advice. This confuses the thought process. We need to clear the mind and become confident in our decisions and choices. Instead of consulting every individual, we will first consult God. Being truly single allows us to own our thoughts, words, and actions. It’s a much better feeling when our thoughts, words and actions are extensions of us rather than elements of someone else’s perspective and opinion.

  4. Being truly single prevents us from being people pleasers.

    Some of us cannot say no. We fill our agenda with tasks; we agree to everything; and we allow others to disregard our personal boundaries. Being truly single helps us to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and others, as we grow in confidence. Not only will others respect us, it also gives us control of our person, our time and our physical, emotional and mental space. Most importantly, we will be less stressed and being less stressed makes us better stewards.

The key to enjoying this season of single awesomeness is Christ at the center. Stop searching and take the time to focus and connect with God. Loved ones, please stop ambushing, attacking and question asking. We know you mean well, but we just might be enjoying our season of growth and enjoying God as our plus one. If we’re not, we promise we’ll talk to you about it.

About the Author

Ebonie Jones

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Ebonie-Marché Jones is the Bonding Ministry Cordinator at MyGen Church. Her mission is to encourage, motivate and inspire others to start with God, to develop the mindset of an overcomer, to make healthier lifestyle choices and to connect with others in safe spaces filled with love, support and encouragement. Her journey has taught her that it is impossible for fear and faith to co-exist and the road to peace is paved with forgiveness. Her favorite verse is "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Eph. 2:10, NIV).

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